I'm not gonna write you a sad blog.

I've been meaning to start blogging again for awhile, because, as weird as it may sound, I miss writing. I've always enjoyed it, but when you are forced to do something, like writing papers in school, it becomes less like fun and more like work.

I also find writing to be therapeutic. Blogging is just a mature diary, really. Sometimes it's a lot easier to write things then to actually say them out loud. The words just sound better in writing. I like that I have an option to erase the words, and that it's so much easier to slant what you are trying to say so that it appears poetic.

I've been thinking a lot lately about emotions. Anger is an easy emotion. When you are angry, you don't have to care. It's even easy to resort to anger. I think that I use it as a crutch. I have a defense mechanism that I built up that I can't seem to get rid of. Instead of caring, instead of hurting, I allow myself to be mad. Then I don't say how I feel. Anger also, for me anyway, doesn't seem to last very long. I don't hold grudges. I'm the type who gets over things quickly. Maybe even too quickly. So when that anger fades, I am left with hurt. And maybe I don't know how to deal with that yet.

This is not a sad blog by any means. For the first time in awhile, I feel like I have made the right choice. Ironically, I still don't know what's best for me right now. BUT, I definitely think that I am on the way to figuring that out. It's hard to step away from something that has been apart of you for so long. But as someone recently told me, if you love something, let it go. If it comes back, then it's yours forever. That's cheesy, but I guess I believe that it's true. Sometimes things end because of outside circumstances. Sometimes it has nothing to do with the way people feel. I don't necessarily believe in meant to be, but I'm pretty sure that things work out the way that they are supposed to. Only time will tell.